Loving What I Do

I love what I do.

I thrive on putting people through the paces and stressing them as I do so. 

There is something about shifting their goal posts and moving them out of their comfort zones.

Simple games become tools for training.

Normal activities are exaggerated for illustration purposes.

True personalities are revealed and new responses are elicited.

You will never be the same again after a session with me (cue : wicked laugh)

Just When...

Just when I thought it was time to hang it up. Just when I decided to put things away. Just when I figured perhaps I ought to concentrate on other things.

The phone rings.

The emails follow.

And I have another job to do.

I guess I am not meant to quit just yet.....!

Been a While, It's Worthwhile

After months of trying, I was able to settle on a date with some inspiring, aspiring, enthusiastic young people. Two sessions with them. Wonderful. 

 This is the appreciation received. I must say this appeals to me.

Yes, they call me Aunty. Haha!

Time Flies

I hadn't thought that I would be posting here in a while. What with the changes taking place in my life.

Interestingly, I am still doing what I enjoy - being a Human Behaviour Analyst, which is what this blog is about.

So folks, I am back!

Stay tuned for more events.

A Matter of Time

I think it will merely be a matter of time before I have to stop posting on this site.

Attitude

I like these questions posed by John Maxwell:-

When you spend time with others, do they walk away feeling better or worse? Do you clear the air, giving them a fresh perspective and positive encouragement? Or do they go away feeling gloomy? Watch how people respond to you, and you’ll know which kind of person you are.

Read more about why he poses these questions and what he concludes from these here

Labeling

It doesn't make it right - labeling people I mean. Just because you are good at this, it doesn't give you the right to label people and explain their actions/inactions without first finding out more, and without first finding out their perspective.

Take note people, don't judge too hastily.

Actually it's the first rule of DiSC - don't label.

Which seems contradictory considering what I spend a lot of time doing on this site.

But you see, this site is dedicated to DiSC.

And the understanding of personalities.

And I don't post every day.

Nor do I label the people I meet.

Hope the distinction is clear.

It Takes All Sorts

She had been invited for a meal. As far as I knew, they were not going dutch - her friend was going to pay.

Whilst her friend enjoyed her meal, she insisted that her meat was underdone and sent the plate back. Then she commented on the cold vegetables.

Finally she reiterated her disappointment to both the owner and the owner's spouse.

Much to the embarrassment of her friend who had thought it would be a treat.

The High D/C insisted on making her presence felt and opinion known. Regardless of the feelings of her High C/S friend who intensely disliked drawing attention to their table.

Defusing a potential situation required tremendous tact and self control. Which the owner DID exhibit. A classic case to answering wrath softly. Totally disarmed her. Absolutely silenced her.

I had much to learn.

Coping With Consequences

There are consequences to everything we say or don't say, do or don't do.

Some consequences are good - nice results.

Some consequences are neutral.

Some consequences are not so nice at all.

Whatever they may be, facing them in the right way is vital. Don't get over-reactive or too chatty as a high "I" is wont to do. Don't be too calculating and think too much as a high "C" might. Don't be too emotional or intimidated by them as a high "S" could. Don't be too bull-headed as the high "D" often is.

Forethought is important - plan to respond and not react.

Then live it out.

Familiarity

There is a saying that familiarity breeds contempt.

Now supposing I had to do a DiSC workshop for people I knew.

What would the outcome be....

Hmmmm

Change?

I read this recently.

"Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character.'

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations."

Should do some personality profiling before marriage!

So You Have a Profile....

While on holiday recently, I conducted a DiSC profiling for someone I knew.

Profile details aside, I was somewhat disturbed when I was unable to complete the session with this person. Time ran out and despite saying that we would meet up again over this, the time just didn't materialise.

For me, it is not enough to know what your profile is. You need to know how to use it, and to build understanding of what makes you tick, what irritates you, what motivates you and how to relate with others better.

Had I known the lack of time, I would not have done the profiling.

Memo to self - check time available before starting any profiling.

Responses Recevied

Since talking about my sons leaving home, I have had interesting responses.

Someone I know said very matter-of-factly that it was no big deal - definitely the C-D profile I knew the person to be!

Another person described how he didnt cry when sending off the son, but he was close to tears when he saw his offspring when he stepped off the plane to visit. A touch of S here.

Another talked about how no tears were shed, but had followed all the way to make sure all was well. I know this person to be an S-C. Makes sense!

I guess we all respond differently. Mine? I might cry for a little while more.

But it will be all right soon....

Money Matters

What do you do when a child steals?

Do you reprimand the child?

Do you reprimand yourself?

Read more about it in EADotCom.

Fight or Flight

It's been that sort of day.

What if someone was breathing down your neck, waiting for a report from you.

What if someone was sitting there, tapping his fingers on the desk, waiting for your answer.

What if someone was standing, arms crossed, foot tapping away, while watching you finish.

What if someone was sighing within your hearing range and you knew it was because he was waiting for something from you.

How would you react?

Would you be stressed?

Would you giggle with nerves? Would you stumble and make more mistakes? Or would you simply carry on regardless? Would you feel close to tears? Would you feel deep fear?

Note that I said react, and not respond. Our responses can be trained and changed. Our reactions are what you might call gut feeling emotions. Whether your reaction is a fight or a flight one shows your basic personality....

Women are Like Teabags

Following my earlier post, I thought this was an interesting follow-on. Hahahaha!

Open Ended

Did you know that a "People People" are often open-ended where projects are concerned? They don't always finish well.

In fact, the "I" would get distracted easily and you would find it hard to get a report from them.

The "S" would sometimes struggle to get the right words and often wonder if they have got it right, wondering if their bosses be pleased or not.

Of course, if the these people had touches of "D" and especially the "C", they would be more "complete".

Hmmm... Is being a blended personality is best?

Taking the Heat!

Do you cope well under pressure? I am sitting here making this post with a cuppa in my hand. To make my cuppa, I had to put the kettle on, let the water boil and dunk my earl grey tea bag in for about a minute. Then, after adding my dash of evaporated milk, I sit down for a nice cup of aromatic stimulus - just what I need mid-afternoon.

Which reminds me of a story I once read. About a carrot, and egg and a coffee bean. And the wise woman who told it to her daughter.

The story goes that a young lady had gone to her mother and shared how hard things were for her. It seemed like one thing after another was going wrong. She felt awful.

In reply, her mother took her to the kitchen where she put three pots of water on the stove. Into the first one, she put carrots. The second one had eggs and the third one she dropped some ground coffee beans. Then wise mother sat down, without saying a word.

Puzzled, the girl sat with her mother. For about fifteen-twenty minutes. Then her mother turned off the gas.

Turning to her daugher, she placed the carrots, eggs and coffee into different bowls. Then she asked her daughter what she saw.

Getting the obvious answer, her mother then asked her to touch the first two objects.

The carrots were soft to touch.

The eggs shells, cracked open, revealed a hard egg.

The coffee, when sipped, tasted rich and nice.

Smiling, the young woman turned to her mother and asked for an explanation.

Patiently her mother observed that the three had faced the same adversity - the boiling hot water. But the reactions of each were different.

The carrot, initially strong, hard and unyielding came out softened and weak.

The egg's outer shell had protected the soft centre. But after going through the heat, the inside had hardened.

The ground coffee, however, had changed the water....

Hence the morale of the story - when adversity strikes, when pressure comes, when the heat is on, how do we respond? Like a carrot, initially seeming strong but wilting and weak? Like an egg which an initially soft heat but gets hard in difficult times? Perhaps bitter as well?

Or are we like the coffee bean? Changing the hot water, the very situation that inflicts the heat and perhas pain. It is the hot water that releases the flavour and fragrance of the coffee.

When things are hardest, darkest, most painful and difficult, it is important to change the situation around us, and not vice-versa; to overcome than to be overcomed.

This applies no matter what profile you are.

When Knowing & Applying Comes Together

It's one thing to know. To know about things. To know your personality traits. To discover your strengths and weaknesses.
It's a totally different thing if you know something and apply what you know.That's when things really come together and changes take place in your life.

Now imagine if it's not just you. Imagine if there's a whole group of you, all discovering and applying together.
Can you imagine the impact you will make?

"Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach." Aristotle

GCSC Personality Tests

Recent article in the English news : -

A GCSE in willpower: Pupils take character test to turn around low exam marks
By Laura Clark on 24th June 2008

A test used to measure mental toughness in sportsmen is being introduced into schools – in the hope of improving the worst GCSE results in the country.

Children in a trial scheme in Merseyside are tested for their resilience, ability to cope under pressure, confidence and self-control.

The least 'tough' are then helped to improve their handling of stressful situations using a series of classroom-based exercises.

School children in Merseyside are to trial an 'attitude' test. It's creators at Hull University believe that mental toughness raises exam performance and career ambitions.

If successful, the approach being tried by Knowsley Council could reinforce the backlash against school 'happiness lessons' which teach children to be sensitive, empathetic and caring – but not how to pass exams.

The psychologist who pioneered the attitude test, Hull University's Dr Peter Clough, believes mental toughness raises exam performance and career ambitions.

Those who score highest on his test are more likely to stick to projects and personal goals without giving up and less likely to see themselves as victims of bullying, he says.

The 48-question test was originally designed to help sportsmen remain focused in the face of competition nerves and is also increasingly used in industry.

It is said to explain why some individuals succeed and others fail when exposed to the same types of experiences – even though the under-achievers might be more innately talented.

Knowsley is hoping the test and associated toughness techniques will help bolster the achievements of children growing up in deprived areas.
In last year's GCSEs, only 26.5 per cent of its pupils gained five good grades that included English and maths.

An initial study at Knowsley's Halewood College, led by Dr Clough in conjunction with the psychometric testing company AQR, established a link between performance in exams, career aspirations and mental toughness as measured by the quiz.

The study is now being developed at All Saints Catholic High School, where 181 pupils aged 11 and 12 have taken the toughness questionnaire.
A group of 39 who scored towards the lower end of the scale have been selected to benefit from techniques such as relaxation, goal-setting and 'visualisation' of success.

'Really concentrating is a skill a lot of them have never had,' said Dr Clough. 'They are drawn to a "shortcut" culture of instant success and dream of winning The X Factor but don't see that you need to practise before auditions.'

Details of the scheme emerged days after two academics criticised happiness lessons, claiming they are 'infantilising' youngsters.
Dennis Hayes and Kathryn Ecclestone, of Oxford Brookes University, warned in a book that children were becoming introverted and neurotic because they were encouraged to talk about their emotions instead of working towards success.

Those questions sound very much like ones I would use for short quizzes! No prizes for guessing which personality types they are looking for!