The Blame Game

What is it that makes someone want to pass the buck? To put the blame on someone else? To not take responsibility?

Why do some people want to make others feel bad to make themselves feel good?

What is it that causes someone to want to find fault?

Inevitably, often and sadly, it is because the person himself/herself is insecure.

But when derives significance from the discomfort, misfortune or demise of others, that just doesn't sit right....

Don't let another's problems become yours.

Reputation & Legacy

What do people say of you?

What sort things will they remember you by?

Will there be more good or bad?

Will there be anything at all?

Sometimes a good place to start as is the end.

Ask yourself what you'd like to see at your tombstone.

And then move from there.

Good lesson from the leadership expert, John Maxewell.

Too often we think that if we can impress others, we will gain influence with them. We want to become others’ heroes – to be larger than life. That creates a problem because we’re real live human beings. People can see us for who we really are. If we make it our goal to impress them, we puff up our pride and end up being pretentious – and that turns people off.

If you want to influence others, don’t try to impress them. Pride is really nothing more than a form of selfishness, and pretense is only a way to keep people at arm’s length so that they can’t see who you really are. Instead of impressing others, let them impress you.

It’s really a matter of attitude. The people with charisma, those who attract others to themselves, are individuals who focus on others, not themselves. They ask questions of others. They listen. They don’t try to be the center of attention. And they never try to pretend they’re perfect.

Spend today listening to others and letting them impress you.

~ From The Maxwell Daily Reader

Especially difficult for the High I and the high D, but most important indeed.

Coping With Consequences

There are consequences to everything we say or don't say, do or don't do.

Some consequences are good - nice results.

Some consequences are neutral.

Some consequences are not so nice at all.

Whatever they may be, facing them in the right way is vital. Don't get over-reactive or too chatty as a high "I" is wont to do. Don't be too calculating and think too much as a high "C" might. Don't be too emotional or intimidated by them as a high "S" could. Don't be too bull-headed as the high "D" often is.

Forethought is important - plan to respond and not react.

Then live it out.

Confrontation

What happens when one is confronted?

Does one feel indignant and fight back?

Or does one feel fear and want to please, perhaps even babbling away in reaction?

Or does one feel totally crushed and unable to respond?

What about the sense of wanting to justify and prove - "Just wait till I get my facts together"

It's not always easy to face confrontation.
It's not always easy not to take it personally.
It's not always easy not to react.

But the best response is not always the best reaction.
The best response is to know yourself and the person who is doing the confrontation.
Then decide on a plan of action.
Better still, decide on the plan of action beforehand and follow through with a level head even if the heart doesnt follow.

Then confrontation can become constructive.

Blinded or Blended

It's one thing to know your profile.

It's another if you use the profile to justify your behaviour and actions.

Knowing your own profile should enable you to understand yourself better; both your strengths and your weaknesses. Thereby avoiding pitfalls. Then you have a good blend as you work on your weak areas, and do not over do your strong ones. Especially in relation to others.

But if you only use it to label other people, you will fail. And worse, you will be sorely disappointed.

Because people do that, you know - they disappoint.

I wish you well.

Incompatible

A high "I" would just drive a high "C" nuts. Don't pair them up alone for long term projects with unless your motive is to bring the high "C" to volcanic levels. The high "I" would be upset by that, yes, but only for a short while. The high "I" will move on faster than the high "C" . The high "C" will store the bitter memory away for a long, looooong time.

I've seen it happen.

Trust me.